The Even Darker Side to One of My Favorite Halloween Movies "Rosemary's Baby"! Part One: History

  

Rosemary's baby

 
 In honor of Halloween I decided to dissect one of my favorite horror movies, Rosemary's Baby (1968). I tend to like psychological thrillers rather than slasher movies. It is one movie that I have to watch during the Halloween season. It is scary, intense and a little bit comically too.Rosemary's Baby has it all! It has satanic worshippers, the Infamous Dakota, Midwesterners new to NY, and a tie to the director, Roman Polanski as well. 

  But it is important to also see what was going on during the time the book by Ira Levin was written! The movie has everything to make it a cult movie. But the themes that are within the movies and the fears are not just a fictional "monster in the house genre." It is not just a great directing or script writing where for some reason Rosemary cannot escape the Bramford. There is not an irrational fear of Satanic people that came from no where. There was actually a rise of Satan worshiping in California and there was also a connection to music/actors. The Satanic leader The church of Satan was formed April 30, 1966 and the book "Rosemary's Baby" was published March 12, 1967.

   There were hippie communes in San Francisco before the summer of love. In the book and movie Hutch and Rosemary remark about how Roman has pierced ears. Pierced ears on the East Coast was rare and it also was more of a rock n roll, Beatnik or Hippie sort of event. The Hippie counter-culture was born in the mid 1960s.  January 14,1967, three months before the book was written, the famous "Human Be-In" happened in San Francisco and popularized the Hippie movement. That summer would be dubbed the summer of Love. 

  A mid-westerner like Rosemary would not approve of such connections to the hippie culture. Also what is interesting that perhaps Roman would be a sort of Hippie because they did light incense and they did like to chant. Perhaps that smell was not tannis root but rather pot they smelled! Hutch would find it funny because who would have thought of an old man hanging out with such young college students?

  1967 was not the "Summer of Love" myth that we hear about peace, love, and understanding with a little bit of drug experimentation. The American Experience a PBS show in the documentary "Summer of Love"  basically suggests that this idea of "The Summer of Love" is like the stories of George Washington and the Cherry Tree. The idea of "The Summer of Love" was a myth that cause a greatest migration of young people in the history of America to San Francisco, CA. In fact the baby boomers during this time were the largest number of people under 25 in American History. There were not girls with flowers in their hair and in fact there were many runaways who had to prostitute themselves. People did not realize that San Francisco got cold and froze because a lot unwisely came to San Francisco bare footed. 

  The baby boomers American Experience says during this time of high school and college were post wars, they had access to more money and higher education. They were told to shove down any issues they might have because their parents/grandparents had it harder. It was the sense that there was nothing to complain about anymore so that they should be content. They were told that material possessions and prosperity should quell them. They were living in an age of heavy consumerism focused on their young trends, plastic, pills, idea that frozen/chemically alter products are better food, portable record players and radios. 

 We see the main culture and focus on consumerism in the scenes where Guy was a Yamaha motor cycle spokesman on TV ads. Also how Rosemary models her kitchen and puts the table in the kitchen after a page in a magazine. Also that she spent $200.00 just on one chair that was new and fancy. To put the price in context around that time my parents put a down payment on their first house for $50.00! I used an inflation calculator and it determined that $200.00 in 1966 has the same buying power as of $1402.09 today! They are buying an apartment that is too expensive for them since guy only works part time and Rosemary does not work at all. They are definitely feeding into the main culture!

  With being with more affluence they were afforded the ability to look at spirituality and not just the doctrine of religion. Ironically those that had money were often the hippies who believe that money was the root of all evil. It is in my opinion like those in Italy that flirt with Socialism yet he or she is from a rich family. It is often easy to say that you can live without something that you already have too much and can spare. Also what might work in a small community does not do well when all of a sudden 20-30,000 people show up to claim the "experience." The hippies were not ready to share with that many people who were not also shown how to do LSD for "enlightenment." Also runaways who were flooding in were too different from the original Hippies in the area and were younger. Runaways are not an easy population to make roots because they are not as trusting. 

Joni Mitchell

  In fact it was more like the way that Led Zeppelin band wrote in their 1971 hit "Going to California." Someone told me there's a girl out there with love in her eyes and flowers in her hair. But when they got there Tryin' to find a woman who's never, never, never been born. Apparently the song was about earthquakes and how both Plant and Paige were in love with Joni Mitchell the folks singer. However you could say that those young kids came to San Francisco thinking they were going to be happy, get some sun, get high and be in an utopia. But when they got there it was probably a worse situation than they left. Those that did not have money, they had to resort to prostitution, they went hungry, there were high crime rates and became more than a casual user of drugs. The high volume of people going into San Francisco caused a stress on the resources of the city started the break down of the facade of an "Utopia." 

  The Hippies were not working jobs, in 1966 Acid was legal in California, and too many people were sleeping in the parks. So many people were sleeping in parks that eventually both LSD and sleeping in parks were banned. Drug dealers were taking advantage of young and "stupid" kids by pushing highly addictive drugs to get them to be indebted to them. They pushed speed, Cocaine and Heroin. It was no longer about reaching inner peace but rather just becoming junkies. The original  hippies left San Francisco looking for Gurus. Those that were drug addicts stayed and stores catered to tourist who wanted to pretend they were hippies for a weekend. The people left were not people but because of the drugs were more like animals. The drugs were not about freeing your mind but rather these drugs caused paranoia. People had STDs and were not taking care of their bodies. The care free hippies that got hooked on these drugs were Paranoid junkies. 

Mia Farrow, Beatles and their Guru

George Harrison at Haight-Ashbury, San Francisco, 7 August 1967

  When George Harrison went to San Francisco during what was supposed to be the Summer of Love they were very disappointed. They went there to see his wife's sister. He thought it would be with beautiful, free-love and just happiness. Instead they just saw sadness! That was apparently the last time he took drugs for enlightenment and was looking for more spiritual enlightenment. 

  That was then that he had been interested in the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. By February 1968 he had become their spiritual advisers. Interestingly enough both Mia Farrow and her sister Prudence joined them. In fact Dear Prudence was about Mia's sister Prudence. There was rumors according to John Lennon that the Guru tried to rape Mia Farrow and that did not fly with them. The wrote Sexy Sadie about how horrified they were with the Maharishi. Originally it was just going to be called Maharishi but George Harrison convinced them to change it to "Sexy Sadie." It was mostly about how great of a con man Maharishi was and how everyone was paying for enlightenment he was more than willing to sell. Also that he had a small dick and it was not cool that he was trying to rape Mia! 

  There are rumors that I have read that apparently the church of Satan realized they were not happy with their guru. Since they left their spiritual advisor they saw that they could fill a void in the Beatles, gain a crazy amount of followers and were trying to court them. 

 Around this time of drug and paranoia The Church of Satan crept up also San Francisco on April 30, 1966. The Leader was Anton Szandor LaVey who the character Roman Castevets'/ Steven Mercato is based on. Anton wrote The Satanic bible and was the High Priest of the movement which spoke about human nature and goals of materialism. Anton LaVey is known as the Black Pope of the Church of Satan.

   At a time of a counter culture against materialism, aka Hippies, there is a counter culture that is taking the culture importance of material goods to another level. Anton ran away to the circus at 16 and then worked carnivals. He was a musician and a lot of his history that he claims about himself has not been verified. He claims to have had relations with Marilyn Monroe when he was a musician and she was a dancer. He had been giving lectures on the occult and his followers said that he had a religion. Anton brought in ex-hippies, musicians and those in Hollywood. People were looking for spirituality and the young people were very angry. Plus one should not be surprised that Californians after getting bored with hippies were drawn to Satanism. There is always seems to be some sort of fad religion like Christian Scientology, Wicca, Kabbalah and etc that the Californians are more than willing to try out.

  Interestingly at the time of this movie Mia Farrow got her divorce papers from Frank Sinatra on set because he wanted her to work on a movie with her. I think that there are a lot of situations that happen when Mia Farrow is around. I am thinking there is more to the story. Roman was a known womanizer and Mia Farrow seemed to be a rather free spirit that attracted a lot of suiters. I have seen pictures of Mia with a lot of celebrities and she stole Andre Previn from his wife! His wife Dory Previn wrote a song about her called "Beware of Young Girls." I am wondering if Frank was not a fool and he might have had reasons to think that Mia and Roman were more than a working relationship. Why else would Frank Sintra be so key on her working on the movie "The Detective" I however could not find any information supporting this so I can only suggest that there has to be more to the story of Mia being served divorce papers on the set of this movie. 

  Frank Sinatra was also  in the Rat Pack which had Sammy Davis Junior in it. Apparently Sammy Davis Junior was a card carrying member of the Church of Satan. Just something else to tag onto the creepy connection of Mia Farrow to "Rosemary's Baby!" I do not mean to say that Mia Farrow was into Satanism nor do think this is the reason Frank broke off the marriage. I just find it an interesting factoid. 

  You cannot talk about the history going into the movie and book without quickly talking about what happened to Roman after he shot the movie. It is ironic the fact that people associated with The Church of Satan murdered Roman Polanski's wife.  Sharon Tate had been married to Roman since January 1968 and had become pregnant. 

   She was fearful that Roman was going to ask her to have an abortion. She did not tell him that she was pregnant until she was leaving for the movie "The Thirteen Chairs" in March of 1969. Roman had numerous times told Sharon he did not want children because of his experiences growing up in occupied Poland. Roman felt that "the world was too violent, and too cruel, to bring a child into." Roman was not faithful to Sharon. Sharon was not trying to change him but she wanted him to change. She was preparing to be a mother and Roman's womanizing ways were getting to her. 

Mia Farrow, Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate (I believe).

  In fact Roman does a very good job at creating a very paranoid filled set. Perhaps this idea that the world was too violent and too cruel to bring in children is what created the intense everyday situations.  It is interesting with to note that Roman Polanski wrote the screenplay and wanted Sharon in the role. Sharon could have done Rosemary very well as her relationship was much like that of Guy and Rosemary's. Roman ignored Sharon. There is a scene where Rosemary invites all her young friends says to one of her friends and this is what is said: 

Rosemary Woodhouse: [crying] I *won't* have an abortion!

Joan Jellico, Rosemary's Girlfriend: But no body's telling you to have an abortion!

Elise Dunstan: Rosie, a pain like that is a clear sign that something is not right. We just want you to get another opinion, see someone else, that's all.

Tiger, Rosemary's girlfriend: Yeah, some doctor besides that... that... *nut*!

Knowing that Sharon was afraid to tell Roman that she was pregnant in fear that he would make her have an abortion is ironic. It is ironic when you see it in this context.  

  Before Sharon Tate left for her movie Charles Manson (one could say close to the devil himself for the time) had shown up at the house incorrectly thinking it was the Melcher's residence. So around the time that Roman was about to discover, or knew that Sharon was pregnant, Manson was at the house. A photographer friend told Manson to go to the guest house and Manson went back to speak to Altobelli.  Manson had also been hanging around Dennis Wilson, a beach boy. Altobelli who was living in the guest house remembered him from the previous year as he was at a party at Dennis Wilson. At the party Dennis Wilson was actually playing some of Charles Manson's songs. Tate before she left for Italy remarked about how creepy Charles Manson was. 

  Tate however got over the fear that Roman might want her to have an abortion. She was excitedly awaiting the birth of her child. She returned after filming her movie to watch the moon landing July 20, 1969. In August 8, 1969, 8.5 month Pregnant Sharon Tate was brutally murdered by the Manson Family.Ironically and tragically ending in a Cruel and violent end weeks before the child was due! 

Annie Leibovitz picture of Yoko Ono and John Lennon taken on December 8, 1980

  Roman Polanski also recommended that John Lennon get an apartment in The Dakota where the movie was shot.  December 8, 1980 John Lennon was shot in front of the Dakota by Mark David Chapman. It was ironic that Roman's wife was murdered because of a Beatle's song, Helter Skelter. Roman's good recommendation of the Dakota was where John Lennon was eventually killed. On the day he was killed he was at a photo shoot. There is a picture that was shot where he in the fetal position with Yoko Ono. John Lennon sang a duet with David Bowie called "Fame" which mentions "what you need is in the limo. Lennon had been riding in a limo" before he was shot. David Bowie sang a song "Space Oddity" about a man in outer space. Before Sharon Tate came back to America to see the Moon Landing. If you want to get extra weird it is the fact that Fellini's movie "8 1/2 was the movie that beat Roman Polanski's movie "Knife in the Water" at the Oscars. At the time of Helter Skelter Sharon Tate was 8.5 months pregnant and they slashed her belly. A Pregnant woman before she starts in labor her water breaks. Thus when they slashed her body they put a knife in the water.

   These are just of course interesting ties that are not to be looked at beyond the fact that they are just interesting. Not conspiracy theory but just odd! There is a lot of darkness that is in this movie. More than I originally thought when I was researching the history! If you look it as Roman looks at it, the world is violent and cruel. So we should not try to connect a dot but rather just accept that bad things happen and we should not analyze it. Analyzing it would give the bad deeds too much power! 

   Next week look for The Even Darker Side to One of My Favorite Halloween Movies "Rosemary's Baby"! Part One Part Two: Analysis. 

Heath English Toffee Chocolate Chip Giant cookies!

  My husband recently complained after I did two batches of Chocolate-Reese's-Peanut-Butter-Chip Cookies that none of them went to him. Did I cut a piece for him to try? Yes. Was I trying to force feed him at midnight to take the generous slice of cookie? Yes. In his defense he been at sleep at the time and he was not hungry for a cookie. That night I was up until 3:30 am baking, wrapping cookie boxes, and other ebay items for the mail. The house smelt wonderful even in the afternoon. 

   

   When he woke up like the bear he is in the morning he wanted cookies. I was however too tired to understand where the cookie piece I saved him went. I thought maybe  I had added it to the boxes of cookies that I sent out. I was pretty tired and disoriented when he woke me up to ask! I told him to check the stacked cookie pans. He did not look in the stacked cookie pans. He did not look for the cookie and it was safe and sound in the stacked cookie pans. I later on in the day ate the cookie after I found it because we had no food in the house and it was good! Finders, keepers! But it made me feel bad. Well I really liked the cookie but I realized that I should just bake for him. I did recently bake for him for his birthday on September 19th. He ate ten out of nineteen Pirate Booty Cupcakes and it is not like the man is never getting baked goods!

   I sent out four cookie boxes. One cookie box went to his friend Rob as a thank you for taking us on a tour of Martha's Vineyard. I wanted also to make up for the hideous cookies that I gave him on that trip. That was not a good representation of my baking skills! I had baked them as a trial run before I baked the Apple-Pear Galette for my family. The cookies were golden on the outside but pretty much raw on the inside. I had even done the cake test for them and it came out dry! That is what I get for baking cookies in an electric oven. One might remember from my Apple-Pear Galette post that Electric ovens are where dreams of good pastry go! 

  One batch was for one of my friends who suffered the loss of a stolen i-phone. I was in that club recently so I get it! And you hate when you hear stories of people being dumb leaving it places and people returning it. You think "WHY COULDN'T THAT HAVE BEEN ME!!!" But then you take a breath and winky-face that you are happy for that person! But I had to wait 8 weeks to get a new phone because I was so close to getting an upgrade and it was going to save me more money. So yeah, I thought she probably needed a pick-me-up! Two other cookie boxes went to my Oldest and the youngest of my older brothers who both have October birthdays. 

  My husband has been working a lot of overtime. He is a good man and he works hard. Sometimes it is nice to just out of the blue just bake for your hubby. So I was hoping to have this ready by the time he came home so I did not take as many pictures as I normal do! These cookies came out so good! He unfortunately has to work a double tonight into the morning. So this is going to be Toffee chocolate chip cookies with his morning coffee! 

Ingredients:

• 11.5 oz bag of Ghirardelli Milk Choclate 
• 12 oz  Heath English Toffee "Bits 'O Brickle Toffee Bits" 
• 2.25 cups of flour
• 2 sticks of butter
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon of Pure Vanilla Extract
• 0.75 cups of granulated sugar
• 0.75 cups of brown sugar
• 2 eggs

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
• Sift together: flour, baking powder, and salt into a medium sized batter bowl. Put aside.
• Cut up room temperature butter into small pats of butter and place in the mixing bowl. Using the flat blade attachment in mixer cream the butter, vanilla, brown sugar and granulated sugar together.
• Beat the egg in a small with a fork to break up the egg. Add the Vanilla extract to the eggs.
• Add the eggs one at a time to the mixture of creamed butter/vanilla/brown sugar/sugar. Make sure in between eggs to beat the mixture well.
• Add the sifted dry ingredient slowly folding it into the wet mixture. Run until the dough is mixed thoroughly.
• Stir in the Milk Chocolate chips and Toffee bits. Make sure that the stand mixer has the chips through out the mixture by taking using a flat spatula to scrap down the sides.Tip: If the mixture is uneven: fold the mixture by hand if necessary to mix the bottom part of the dough with the top layer. If necessary run the mixer again.
• This cookie batch can make 24 large cookies or 2 GIANT COOKIES
• Spray inside of the Giant Cookie Pans with baking pan spray. 
• Divide dough in half. 

• Spray hands with vegetable pan spray and press dough into pan. Do not press all the way to edges as dough will spread when baked. 
• Put the two Giant Cookie Pans in the oven on different racks, Set the Timer for 10 minutes
• After 10minutes rotate the cookie pans the top goes on the bottom and the bottom goes on the top. 
• Set the time and put in for another 10 minutes (for 20 minutes total).
• After 20 minutes or until the top and sides are golden take out the two Giant Cookies
• Cool inside the pan for 5 minutes. Turn pan over onto a cooling rack to release. Sandwich it again with another cooling rack to make sure it is right side up. Then let it cool completely. Tip: Never Cut the cookie when it is in the pan because if one cuts the pan, it will not release as well. I have had a couple of people cut it when it is in the pan and it was not a happy face that I made! 
  
  
  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  
  
  
• To clean, hand wash in hot, soapy water. Do not use abrasive cleaners or scrubbing pads. Rinse and dry thoroughly. Tip: I find that the pan washes cleanly with use of baking spray and with ease so the use of abrasive cleaners never comes up!

Budgeting Especially Around The Upcoming Holidays

 

  These days especially since the Government shutdown I am not the only one who is probably tightening their belts. Many people go broke and in debt to buy Christmas presents for family, friends and partners. People just charge, charge away hoping like the Griswolds that maybe a Christmas bonus will cover it or somehow they will be able to find the money. Sometimes people only use credit cards for Christmas and pay it off all year.

  But this season for me is going to be challenging. This past August I got laid off from my job and I am actively looking for work. I am very lucky to be able to collect unemployment  during my job search and my husband has a good paying job where he can sometimes make overtime money.

   I am bringing in half the amount of money that I did when I was working. I am lucky that when I was working my salary paid the smaller bills, I was able to put away for savings/emergency money and that we purchased our condo based only on my husband's salary. That does not mean that we can pay all our bills and our mortgage off of my husband's salary that is incorrect. We did not over commit on our mortgage. As much as we day dream of a house on acres upon acres we just don't have the budget for it now. Many people buy a house or condo thinking that there would be two salaries that could go towards it. This is not a good practice. If someone gets sick or loses a job then you have to really budget or you might have to even sell your home. So we are lucky thanks to my unemployment that we can make ends meet without having to dip yet into our emergency savings account. But I have to really budget. I am lucky that before I got laid off I really budgeted and put as much as I could into savings. But it has been hard!

  A good practice is to pay your bills, pay money into your savings, and pay money into your emergency fund. Your Emergency Fun should be at least six months average of both your salaries. Whatever money is left over I would  then divide into for groceries and then for wants after all that is paid. That practice is so hard! I get so many deals sent to my emails! Just today the cute luggage I wanted went on crazy sale! I just love this Weekender bag from Saturdays Kate Spade brand and today they introduced their 30% off Friends and Family deal! But instead I remembered we were low on money, we needed to still pay the mortgage/were still short money, that I had to still put $600 into the house fund and really as nice as it might go on sale for even more by Thanksgiving. It helps to see where the money is going and to make it about logic instead of impulse. For right now it is more of a want not a need! I am just going to have to wait until it goes on even better sale than 30% off and maybe try to get it for Christmas or post Christmas sales!

  Also December 19 my husband is getting surgery, he will be out of work for at least 3-5 days because he is getting his gallbladder out. This means that we have to live on for a week or two his vacation pay which does not have differential and he will lose out on a lot of overtime. On top of that dilemma we have to pay a rather steep 30% of the fees out of pocket. We have a larger deductible this year that I doubt he has made yet. So there is going to be extra monetary stress during the holidays. But my husband has to get his gallbladder out and we are going to enjoy Christmas this year. It just adds to the importance of budgeting this Christmas.

  It is very tempting to live outside your means every day. When the Holidays come around even those that are frugal are tempted to "just not think about it because it is the holidays." The holidays are also a way to one-up people and to go way over the top than needed! Think about the Christmas with Kranks how one family decided not to celebrate Christmas and how pressured they were to put up crazy decorations! Think how bad the Griswolds got with the decorations! These are funny events because they are based on real situations just in hyperbole! When one is younger often one just spends, spends, spends because often it is not really one's money or one does not have a lot of bills. Sometimes I would get gifts for people just because I would be afraid that I would not have a gift for someone and receive a gift from that person. Also no one wants to be called a Grinch or cheap!

   If one is needing to budget for the Holidays I recommend going to family and friends and being up front. Tell them that one is not expecting gifts, that one would rather have (insert what you rather have) and that you do not plan on getting or giving gifts. If one is making your gifts I would mention that to one's friends because some people don't like home made gifts. It could also ease the burden of having to buy you something and maybe they have always wanted to bake a gift instead of buying one! I also suggest that one instead has a Christmas dinner/party inviting friends and family as the Christmas gift. You could also make it be quasi-pot luck and assign people to bring certain items.

    I also only recommend baking, cooking or making your gifts if you have a talent. Nobody want your crazy craft crap for gifts because that is worse than not actually getting a gift! Don't be Ralph's aunt and make a pink bunny suit for someone for Christmas unless it is homage to A Christmas Story. Also remember that Christmas is not Mother's Day! One's friends and Family love you but not enough to be excited about a macaroni necklace because not everyone is one's mom! Plus when one is over 22 you cannot get away with that boho charm!

   Last year I did not give out gifts to my friends. I would usually bake cookies and send them out to my friends. Instead my friends were relieved because most were also feeling the pinch. I used the money I would normally use to bake the cookies (not including the shipping fees) and I donated it. I gave it to a charity that could better use my limited budget for good. 

   I was up front with my friends and a lot of friends were inspired. Instead of Christmas being about standing in long lines, and commercialism it was about enjoying the season with friends. It made me happier because I was not trying to make it work with a very limited budget to then have to stand in line to ship the items at the post office! Also I helped fund a classroom project that needed basic supplies after Hurricane Sandy through Donors choose. The classroom asked for paper, pens, binder, and paper. It really humbled me and made me realize that my budget can really go further by helping someone rather than giving a stupid cheap gift to someone. I asked that other people donate as well to the classroom and to try to fund other classrooms as well if on a budget. 

  I talk freely to my friends and if I am thinking of getting a gift for them I ask "do you want to exchange gifts this year?" This way I do not have to overspend and I kind of don't care if someone thinks I am cheap because other people don't pay my bills! If someone is not going to give me a gift I do not then have to send out a gift unless I really feel like they deserve a gift. But if one is going to go to a party they are throwing one could make something for the party, offer to help them set-up/clean up or go early to help them with the food. If you are meeting up for the holidays one could just maybe say "I'll get the drinks and you get the desserts." That way you make your gift an experience instead of just a one up-ing!

   Make the holiday season more about an experience than "well, what can I get for $15- $25 per person that does not make me look cheap!" Plus how often have one just gotten this crappy gift that you have no idea what to do with? Are you really going to wear that Wally World hat and when it comes time for Christmas you know you will lose it! That just either gathers dust, gets donated, e-bayed or just gets thrown out? That is wasteful and just not worth it! There is also  less chance of also receiving a crappy gift that you don't want if one doesn't exchange gifts! Which makes it less stressful because you don't have to pretend to like that hideous Christmas Sweater! You just can enjoy your time with a person and just get stressed out over your own family and your in-laws! (Just kidding to my family and in-laws!)

  Taking back the holiday and make it less about getting gifts makes the season less stressful! You will find that one has more time to enjoy the season ! One doesn't have as many melt downs and one can enjoy making all those Christmas cookies because you are refreshed! If one takes back the holiday one can be more selfish by taking those exercise classes one loves and you get more things done! One's energy does not get zapped by over priced items, long lines, losing one's car in the garage, lowered blood sugar, realizing one went over budget and one can spend it on things you want to do!

  Another good friend gift is that one could just make time for the person during the hectic time and enjoy free events in the city, make food/pastries with them and exercise. Exercise is often free or one could go to a reasonable priced class with a friend. If there is something that most of us don't do during the holiday season it is working out! That helps with stress, don't have to wrap it, wait in line to send it and great way to bond! Plus it makes one feel good and keeps one on task if you are trying to lose weight. So that Christmas cookie  that one have got to have is not so bad after one does a spin class. Or after that Spin class one might feel like one doesn't have to have that cookie. That never happened to me. One could make healthier choices because one is feeling good, one realizes how much it takes to burn calories, one is not as stressed and less likely to just eat from drive thru it! 

   I did a free belly dancing class with a friend and it was great fun but it was not my thing. But all the class cost me was a little bit of gas money and my pride! Now we can  be like "remember when I was an idiot in belly dancing class?" Instead of remember when I spend $300 on drinks going out in NYC, I got you that cashmere sweater I never see on you,  I woke up with a hangover and 5lbs heavier? You get fun for a whole lot less which means you can get together a whole lot more!

  

  You could also afford to budget if one does not have young children in the family. My in laws and my family are all adults so there is no need to buy something right now. One could give them a gift certificate so that they could spend the money on items that will be on sale right after Christmas. One can easily send an Amazon gift if you have an email for the recipient. CVS and grocery store chains now have gift cards in the store so you can get your groceries and gifts out of the way! With the gift cards you can just start budgeting in October and slowly buy when you have extra money the gift cards. When I gave gifts I tried to just through out the year put aside money. I have a list of names I check off after I purchase a gift card and then I keep all my gift cards in that folder so I do not lose them. But when in doubt all adults like money and it always fits!

   Last year my in laws and we were not able to go all out for Xmas. I recommended that we do a Secret Santa with gift cards of $25 and that we just have a really good pot-luck Christmas Dinner. It was good because we did not have to stress ourselves out nor did we have to go over budget. We just spent $50.00 plus whatever the cost for my appetizers and cookies that I made. For my family because I did not want to stand in line for shipping items I use the same budget I spent on my in laws for my family. I sent early around my dad's birthday (December 15) cookies before the long lines started at the post office. I told them to freeze them for Xmas or to share them at my dad's birthday. For my brothers I sent them gift certificates in the budget range to Amazon.com directly to their emails. I did not pay for shipping and I gave it to them before Cyber Monday and Black Friday incase they wanted to pick up something.

   This year for my dad's birthday and for my family for Christmas I am sending them Legal Seafoods online. My dad loves Legal Seafood. He goes crazy over Lobster Mac and Cheese, and he loves Clam Chowder. I  got 5% back by going through ebates. I also saved 20% because I found a promo code on Retail me or Not when I searched the internet. So I spent a good deal of money for just my dad's birthday but it was not bad since it is also my family's Christmas gift. I have five other people in my family and technically since it is my dad's christmas/birthday gift I can divide the total by 6. My gift is a good one because it is chance before Christmas for my my family to get together enjoy food that they love and it is an experience. Since I cannot be there to make my appetizers and cookies it is a way to do something nice for them. I also got a lot for my money. I got 1 gallon of clam chowder, 1 lbs of cooked shrimp cocktail, 2 orders of lobster mac and cheese, Bacon wrapped scallops, and dinner rolls. All my family needs to do is to get some drinks and dessert to round out the meal. The most expensive part of the gift was the shipping of the items to my parent's house. After the rebate the cost is $24.81 per person including the shipping. I normally try to do $25 a person so this was a good choice!

  For my in laws I am making a lot of desserts and appetizers. The total is probably going to be about the same I spend on my own family. I am going to make good food with good ingredients. They also benefit from me being closer and I do bake quite frequently for them. I do not really make inexpensive cookies because I always use high quality chocolate and I always double the amount of chocolate. Then at the end of the Christmas dinner I will divide what is left of the dessert and give it to all the families that come to the dinner. It will be less stressful for me and I can just enjoy the Christmas season. I could a couple days before make and freeze some cookies. That way on Christmas I just have to assemble the appetizers, I can wake up later and I could get in some exercise before the big feast!

  Children make it harder to budget for the holidays because they want the in items right away and under the tree. Plus you don't want to disappoint children around the holidays because it really is a holiday for the kids! You really want to make the holidays magical and you want to see the "Santa! Santa!" face. But you don't have to order that from the overly expensive Pottery Barn Kids catalogue!

  I have a great married couple as friends that really do it right. They have a modest house in RI and the wife is able to stay at home with the kids. But they have a great garden, bee hive, and the wife makes Martha Stewart look like a chump.

  This family tries to make holidays/events be about experiences not spending a ton of money. For a lot of people that would make them upset to hear that they were described this way but not my friends! So when my friend makes gifts it is not like an insult to get them because they are awesome! It is often BETTER than getting them in the store. She sends us cookies (amazing ones) and honey. She makes her kids clothing and blankets etc.

  I am not sure how she does Christmas with the kids but she keeps their commercialism in check year round. Her kids are more realistic about Christmas than most kids, she limits how many toys she buys and also they play with toys that my friends saved from their childhood that are in good condition. She works hard to make her kids be grateful for what they have, be exposed to great food, she makes them wonderful creative things, the kids help create things and they try to have fun on the cheap. Her kids as a result have an amazing creative streak and are very imaginative! She does not tell them to be grateful for what they have but rather she just lets them have a great time with what they have. Totally fun version of "waste not want not!" It is not about how she got the expensive Princess party set nor is it about her spending hours making things like a sweat shop.

  If one has kids that are three or under I don't recommend really getting much because they won't remember it. It is crazy what people give/get a one year old for their birthday! One could just wrap up a box, do a smash cake and they would be happy! The same thing applies for Christmas!

  Giuliana Rancic from E! admitted on the air that she has 24 strollers the other day! People say oh that is crazy! Well it is!  On the flip side I have been to one year old birthdays that were gifted so many things that the kid cannot wear fast enough to get use out of them. Also how many over sized stuffed animals does a kid need? A great gift would be a bond or a grocery store card so the parents can get formula/diapers and baby food. That is not glamorous I admit but if the kid won't remember how expensive your gift is and it is a waste. You should get something for the parent's. If one is close by and have experience with kids gift the parent's a night out with babysitting provided by oneself!

  If one has kids in your family that are old enough to remember receiving a gift I would ask the parent's of the kids what the kids would want. Perhaps the parents would love it if one went in on the gift with them. If one has kids of your own I recommend asking your kids what is the one toy that they really want to have. Then one will get one or two of the must have toys.

 I do not really suggest saving by using Black Friday Sales because one has to wake up early and fight in crowded stores. If one is one of those people  try to focus just on getting those must have items and not get distracted by other "crap you don't need but is a good sale." A safer bet is online Cyber Monday sales which one can do safely from home. One can save the desired items in a cart before the sales. Monday sign in and the must haves will be in one's shopping cart perhaps on sale. Then one will not be tempted to look elsewhere on the site and overspend. So just peek to see if the most have items are on sale then if they are purchase them.

  If I do purchase items on Cyber Monday I make sure it is actually a good deal.  I always try to go through Ebates first so that I can save a percentage on top of that. Also if do a web search for that website for promo codes which can help save you even more. I never purchase anything online without doing a quick web search for Promo codes. Plus don't shop online on Black Friday because most often the best sales online are actually on Monday for their Cyber Monday sales. I made that mistake a couple of times but I have learned my lesson!

  Then you have those one or two items for the trees so that the kids have something to unwrap. Make an event of Christmas by making a breakfast or brunch, make popcorn, make a snowman or anything that is a more reasonable tradition. Then have another post holiday shop with the kids where they can pick out something else that they really wanted. It helps with the post holiday blues and things are on sale and cheaper. Plus you might just be able to do a one on one with the kid or make it a really special event. Kids also tend to get so much crap that either breaks or they lose interest in. They do not need all this junk because in the end you have to pick it up or yell at them for not keeping it clean. Make it simple and make what you spend money on special.

  So to summarize you should focus less on spending money and more on spending quality time with your friends and family during the Christmas Season. Take this need to budget and see how actually freeing it is because one no longer has to have Christmas arm race! One can instead let people fight over a slightly irregular Christmas toy or sweater while you sit by the fire with hot cocoa! Try to balance between the Radio City Christmas and Stark Christmas. Spend less time stressing about things that you hate doing and spend more time feeling relaxed but on budget! If you are caught off guard this year maybe start a Christmas fund for Christmas fun next year but don't focus on wants but rather higher quality needs!